Steve Martin

The 25 Nose Jokes from the Movie Roxanne

1. Obvious: “Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face?”

2. Meteorological: “Everybody take cover, she's going to blow!”

3. Fashionable: “You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming.”

4. Personal: “Well, here we are, just the three of us."

5. Punctual: “All right Dellman, your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late."

6. Envious: “Ooh, I wish I were you, to be able to smell your own ear.”

7. Naughty: “Pardon me sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away.”

8. Philosophical: “You know, it’s not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters.”

9. Humorous: “Laugh and the world laughs with you; sneeze and it's good-bye Seattle.”

10. Commercial: “Hi, I’m Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for Thirty-Nine Ninety-Five.”

11. Polite: “Ah, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, ah, orchestra keeps changing tempo.”

12. Melodic: (Everybody) “He’s got the whole world.. in his nose.”

13. Sympathetic: “Ooh, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with God?”

14. Complimentary: “You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.”

15. Scientific: “Say, does that thing there influence the tides?”

16. Obscure: “Hoo, I’d hate to see the grindstone.” (Think about it.)

17. Enquiring: “When you stop and smell the flowers, are they afraid?”

18. French: “Sir, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.”

19. Pornographic: “Finally, a man can satisfy two women at once.”

20. Religious: “The Lord giveth, and he just kept on giving, didn’t he?”

21. Disgusting: “Say, who mows your nose hair?”

22. Paranoid: “Keep that guy away from my cocaine.”

23. Aromatic: “It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee ... in Brazil.”

24. Appreciative: “Ooh how original, most people have their teeth capped.”

25. Dirty: “Your name would’'t be ... Dick, would it?”

Updated 8 December 2023.
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