Prologue: "Into the Woods"

Prologue: Into The Woods [ Contents ]

Narrator: Once upon a time--
Cinderella: I wish...
Narrator (NA): --in a far-off kingdom--
Cinderella: More than anything...
NA: --lived a young maiden--
Cinderella: More than life...
NA: --a sad young lad--
Cinderella: More than jewels...
Jack: I wish...
NA: --and a childless baker--
Jack: More than life...
Cinderella, Baker: I wish...
NA: --with his wife.
Jack: More than anything...
Cinderella, Baker, Jack: More than the moon...
Wife: I wish..
Cinderella: the King is giving a Festival.
Baker, Wife: More than life..
Jack: I wish..
Cinderella: I wish to go to the Festival--
Baker, Wife: More than riches..
Cinderella: --and the Ball..
Jack: I wish my cow would give us some milk.
Cinderella, Wife: More than anything..
Baker: I wish we had a child.
Jack (to cow): Please, pal--
Wife: I want a child..
Jack: Squeeze, pal..
Cinderella: I wish to go to the Festival.
Jack (Overlapping): I wish you'd give us some milk
Or even cheese..
Baker, Wife (Overlapping): I wish we might have a child.
All Four: I wish..
Stepmother (to Cinderella): You wish to go to the Festival?
NA: The poor girl's mother had died--
Stepmother: You, Cinderella, the Festival?
You wish to go to the Festival?
Florinda (Over): What, you, Cinderella, the Festival?
The Festival?!
Lucinda (Over): What, you wish to go to the Festival?!
All Three: The Festival?!
The King's Festival!!!???
NA: --and her father had taken for his new wife--
Stepmother: The Festival!!!???
NA: --a woman with two daughters of her own.
Florinda: Look at your nails!
Lucinda: Look at your dress!
Stepmother: People would laugh at you--
Cinderella: Nevertheless-- I still wish to go
Stepsisters: You still wish to go
Stepmother: She still wants to go
Cinderella: To the Festival.
Stepsisters: To the Festival--
Stepmother: To the Festival--
Stepsisters, Stepmother: --and dance before the Prince?!
(They chortle with laughter musically, then fall about out of control.)
NA: All three were beautiful of face, but vile and black of heart.
Jack, on the other hand, had no father, and his mother--
Jack's Mother: I wish..
NA: Well, she was not quite beautiful--
Jack's Mother: I wish my son were not a fool.
I wish my house was not a mess.
I wish the cow was full of milk.
I wish the walls were full of gold--
I wish a lot of things..
(to Jack) You foolish child! What in heaven's name are you doing with the
cow inside the house?
Jack: A warm environment might be just what
Milky White needs to produce his milk.
Jack's Mother: It's a she! How many times do I have to tell you?
Only "she"s can give milk.
[Two knocks on the Baker's door; Wife opens door; it is Little Red Riding
Hood (LRRH)]
Wife: Why, come in, little girl.
LRRH: I wish..
It's not for me,
It's for my granny in the woods.
A loaf of bread, please--
To bring my poor old hungry
Granny in the woods..
[Insistent]
Just a loaf of bread, please..
[Baker gives her a loaf of bread.]
NA: Cinderella's stepmother had a surprise for her.
[Stepmother throws a pot of lentils into the fireplace]
Stepmother: I have emptied a pot of lentils into the ashes for you.
If you have picked them out again in two hours' time,
you shall go to the ball with us.
LRRH: And perhaps a sticky bun?..
Or four?..
Cinderella: Birds in the sky,
Birds in the eaves,
In the leaves,
In the fields,
In the castles and ponds..
LRRH: ..and a few of those pies,
Please..
Cinderella (Over): Come, little birds,
Down from the eaves
And the leaves,
Over fields,
Out of castles and ponds..
Jack: No, Squeeze, pal..
Cinderella (falling into a trance): Ahhh..
[birds descend to the fireplace]
Quick, little birds,
Flick through the ashes.
Pick and peck, but swiftly,
Sift through the ashes
Into the pot..
Jack's Mother: Listen well, son. Milky-White must be taken to market.
Jack: But, Mother, no--he's the best cow--
Jack's Mother: Was. Was! SHE'S been dry for a week.
We've no food, nor money, and no choice but to sell her
while she can still command a price.
Jack: But Milky-White is my best friend in the whole world!
Jack's Mother: Look at her!
There are bugs on her dugs.
There are flies in her eyes.
There's a lump on her rump
Big enough to be a hump--
Jack: But--
Jack's Mother: Son,
We've no time to sit and dither,
While her withers wither with her--
And no one keeps a cow for a friend!
Sometimes I fear you're touched.
[LRRH has been compulsively eating sweets at the Baker's house;
she now swallows, wiping her hands and mouth.]
LRRH: Into the woods,
It's time to go,
I hate to leave,
I have to, though.
Into the woods--
It's time, and so
I must begin my journey.
Into the woods
And through the trees
to where I am
Expected, ma'am,
Into the woods
to Grandmother's house--
[mouth full]
Into the woods
To Grandmother's house--
Wife: You're certain of your way?
LRRH: The way is clear,
The light is good,
I have no fear,
Nor no one should.
The woods are just trees,
The trees are just wood.
I sort of hate to ask it,
But do you have a basket?
Baker: Don't stray and be late.
Wife: And save some of those sweets for Granny!
LRRH: Into the woods
And down the dell,
The path is straight,
I know it well.
Into the woods,
And who can tell
What's waiting on the journey?
Into the woods
To bring some bread
To Granny who
Is sick in bed.
Never can tell
What lies ahead.
For all that I know,
She's already dead.
But into the woods,
into the woods,
Into the woods
to Grandmother's house
And home before dark!
Cinderella: Fly, birds,
Back to the sky,
Back to the eaves
And the leaves
And the fields
And the--
Florinda: Hurry up and do my hair, Cinderella!
[to Lucinda]
Are you really wearing that?
Lucinda: Here, I found a little tear, Cinderella!
[to Florinda]
Can't you hide it with a hat?
Cinderella: You look beautiful.
Florinda: I know.
Lucinda: She means me.
Florinda [to Cinderella]: Put it in a twist.
Lucinda: Who will be there?..
[She and Florinda continue babbling underneath.]
Cinderella [to herself]: Mother said be good,
Father said be nice,
That was always their advice.
So be nice, Cinderella,
Good, Cinderella,
Nice good good nice--
Florinda: Tighter!
Cinderella: What's the good of being good
If everyone is blind
And you're always left behind?
Never mind, Cinderella,
Kind Cinderella--
[accenting each word with a twist of a strand of hair]
Nice good good kind good nice--
Florinda [screams and slaps Cinderella]: Not that tight!
Cinderella: Sorry.
Florinda: Clod.
Lucinda: Hee he hee--
[Florinda glares at her]
hee hee-- [stops]
NA: Because the baker had lost his mother and father
in a baking accident-- well, at least that is what he believed
--he was eager to have a family of his own,
and concerned that all efforts until now had failed.
[Knock on Baker's door]
Baker: Who might that be?
Wife: We have sold our last loaf of bread..
Baker: It's the witch from next door!
[Witch enters]
Wife, Baker: We have no bread.
Witch: Of course you have no bread!
Baker: What do you wish?
Witch: It's not what I wish. It's what you wish.
(Points to Wife's belly)
Nothing cooking in there now, is there?
NA: The old enchantress went on to tell the couple
that she had placed a spell on their house.
Baker: What spell?
Witch: In the past, when you were no more than a babe,
your father brought his young wife and you to this cottage.
They were a handsome couple, but not handsome neighbors.
You see, your mother was with child and she had developed
an unusual appetite. She took one look at my beautiful garden,
and told your father that what she wanted, more than anything
in the world, was -- Greens, greens, and nothing but greens:
Parsley, peppers, cabbages and celery,
Asparagus and watercress and
Fiddleferns and lettuce--!
He said 'all right,'
But it wasn't, quite,
'Cause I caught him in the autumn
In my garden one night!
He was robbing me,
Raping me,
Rooting through my rutabaga,
Raiding my arugula and
Ripping up the rampion
(My champion! My favorite!)--
I should have laid a spell on him right there.
Could have turned him into stone,
Or a dog, or a chair,
Or a sn-- [drifts off into a momentary trance]
But I let him have the rampion,
I'd lots to spare.
In return, however,
I said 'Fair is fair;
You can let me have the baby
That your wife will bear.
And we'll call it square.'
Baker: I had a brother?
Witch: No. But you had a sister.
NA: But the witch refused to tell him any more of his sister. Not even
that her name was Rapunzel. She went on:
Witch: I thought I had been more than reasonable, and that we all might
live happily ever after. But how was I to know what your father had
also hid in his pocket?! You see, when I had inherited that garden,
my mother had warned me that I would be punished if I ever were to lose
any of the beans.
Baker, Wife: Beans?
Witch: The SPECIAL beans.
I let him go,
I didn't know
He'd stolen my beans!
I was watching him crawl
Back over the wall--!
And then bang! Crash!
And the lightning flash!
And--well, that's another story,
Never mind--
Anyway, at last
The big day came
And I made my claim.
"Oh, don't take away the baby,"
They shrieked and screeched,
But I did,
And I hid her
Where she'll never be reached.
And your father cried,
And your mother died
When for extra measure--
I admit it was a pleasure--
I said, "Sorry,
I'm still not mollified."
And I laid a little spell on them.
You too, son.
That your family tree would always be a barren one...
[laughs]
So there's no more fuss
And there's no more scenes
And my garden thrives--
You should see my nectarines!
But I'm telling you the same
I tell Kings and Queens:
Don't ever never ever
Mess around with my greens!
Especially the beans.
Jack's Mother: Now listen to me, Jack.
Lead Milky-White to market and fetch
the best price you can. Take no less than five pounds.
Are you listening to me?
Jack: Yes.
Jack's Mother: Now how much are you to ask?
Jack: No more than five pounds.
[she pinches his ear]
Jack's mother, Jack: Less! Than five.
Jack's Mother: Jack Jack Jack,
Head in a sack,
The house is getting colder,
This is not a time for dreaming.
Chimney-stack
Starting to crack,
The mice are getting bolder,
The floor's gone slack.
Your mother's getting older,
Your father's not back,
And you can't just sit here dreaming pretty dreams.
To wish and wait
From day to day
Will never keep
The wolves away.
So into the woods,
The time is now.
We have to live,
I don't care how.
Into the woods
To sell the cow.
You must begin the journey.
Straight through the woods
And don't delay--
We have to face
The marketplace.
Into the woods to journey's end--
Jack: Into the woods to sell a friend--
Jack's Mother: Someday you'll have a real pet, Jack.
Jack: A piggy?
[Mother shakes her head in disbelief]
NA: Meanwhile, the witch, for purposes of her own,
explained how the baker might lift the spell:
Witch: You wish to have
The curse reversed?
I'll need a certain
Potion first.
Go to the wood and bring me back:
One: the cow as white as milk,
Two: the cape as red as blood,
Three: the hair as yellow as corn,
Four: the slipper as pure as gold.
Bring me these before the chime
Of midnight
In three days' time,
And you shall have,
I guarantee,
A child as perfect
As child can be.
Go to the wood!
[disappears]
Stepmother: Ladies, our carriage waits.
Cinderella: Now may I go to the Festival?
Stepmother: The Festival?
Darling, those nails!
Darling, those clothes!
Lentils are one thing but
Darling, with those,
You'd make us the fools of the Festival
And mortify the Prince!
Cinderella's Father: The carriage is waiting.
Stepmother: We must be gone.
[they exit with a flourish]
Cinderella: Good night, Father.
[he grunts and exits]
I wish... [cries]
Baker: Look what I found in Father's hunting jacket.
Wife: Six beans.
Baker: I wonder if they are the--
Wife: Witch's beans? We'll take them with us.
Baker: No! You are not coming.
Wife: I know you are fearful of the woods at night.
Baker: The spell is on MY house.
Only I can lift the spell,
The spell is on MY house.
Wife [Over]: No, no, the spell is on OUR house.
We must lift the spell together,
The spell is on OUR house.
Baker [Over]: No. You are not to come and that is final.
Now, what am I to return with?
Wife [Annoyed]: You don't remember?
The cow as white as milk,
The cape as red as blood,
The hair as yellow as corn,
The slipper as pure as gold--
Baker [memorizing]: The cow as white as milk,
The cape as red as blood,
The hair as yellow as corn,
The slipper as pure as gold...
NA [Over]: And so the baker, reluctantly, set off to meet
the enchantress's demands. As for Cinderella:
Cinderella: I still wish to go to the Festival,
But how am I ever to get to the Festival?
Baker [simultaneously]: The cow as white as milk,
The cape as red as blood,
The hair as yellow as corn--
Wife: the slipper--
Baker: The slipper as pure as gold...
Cinderella [Over]: I know!
I'll visit Mother's grave,
The grave at the hazel tree,
And tell her I just want to
Go to the King's Festival...
Baker: The cow, the cape,
The slipper as pure as gold--
Wife: The hair--!
Baker, Cinderella: Into the woods,
It's time to go,
It may be all
In vain, you (I) know.
Into the woods--
But even so,
I have to take the journey.
Baker, Cinderella, Wife: Into the woods,
The path is straight,
You (I) know it well,
But who can tell--?
Baker, Wife: Into the woods to lift the spell--
Cinderella: Into the woods to visit Mother--
Wife: Into the woods to fetch the things--
Baker: To make the potion--
Cinderella: To go to the Festival--
Baker, Wife, Cinderella, Jack, Jack's Mother: Into the woods
Without regret,
The choice is made,
The task is set.
Into the woods,
But not forget-
Ting why I'm (you're) on the journey.
Into the woods
To get my (our) wish,
I don't care how,
The time is now.
Jack's Mother: Into the woods to sell the cow--
Jack: Into the woods to get the money--
Wife: Into the woods to lift the spell-
Baker: To make the potion--
Cinderella: To go too the Festival--
LRRH: Into the woods to Grandmother's house...
Into the woods to Grandmother's house...
All: The way is clear,
The light is good,
I have ho fear,
Nor no one should.
the woods are just trees,
The trees are just wood.
No need to be afraid there--
Baker, Cinderella: There's something in the glade there...
All: Into the woods
Without delay,
But careful not
To lose the way.
Into the woods,
Who knows what may
Be lurking on the journey?
Into the woods
To get the thing
That makes it worth
The journeying.
Into the woods--
Stepmother, stepsisters: To see the King--
Jack, Jack's Mother: To sell the cow--
Baker, Wife: To make the potion--
All: To see-
To sell-
To get--
To bring--
To make--
To lift--
To go to the Festival--!
Into the woods!
Into the woods!
Into the woods,
Then out of the woods,
And home before dark!